Wrote this yesterday and didn't have a chance to post it:
It has been a crazy few weeks, to say the least. It was just
14 days ago that I sat on the floor of my otherwise empty apartment desperately
trying to take it all in. It was hard to believe it had been 3 years since I
moved in…where did the time go? As I sat there, an overwhelming sadness washed
over me…this apartment was my first adult home. I wasn't ready to leave…yet I
knew I had to...new adventures and opportunities awaited me. It was time to
move on.
The day after I moved out of my apartment, I attended my
last lecture. A week after that, I took my last final exam and wrapped up the
didactic portion of my graduate program.
The very next day, I got on a plane to Alaska.
The 12 hour journey was taxing. There were excessive
layovers, flights were delayed, and by the time we finally touched down in Tongass
National Park, we were exhausted from what had become an 18 hour
day. But the emotional drainage of the days leading up to the move was more
taxing than the journey itself.
It was a turning point in my life. I would never be a
student again. I was moving over 3,000 miles away from family and friends, I
was starting clinical rotations. A million thoughts ran through my mind, all
leading up to one ultimate question: Would
I be able to prove myself in the coming weeks/months? It sounds silly, but
it’s extremely scary taking that first step into the “real world”…with a job
(or, for the next few months, an ongoing interview)…and responsibility…and in
my case, people’s lives on the line.
I couldn't help but wonder if the past 3 years had prepared me for this next
step. Had I learned all that I needed to know to be able to make clinical
decisions about a patient’s medical care?
What if I screw this up?
All such thoughts were put to rest the moment we flew into
Alaskan territory. I can’t explain what it is about this place but I feel
unbelievably at ease here.
…Perhaps it’s because this is the view I saw as we flew in:
…Or because I got extremely lucky with my first clinical
rotation. Everyone at the clinic is extremely helpful…not to mention it’s very
laid back. Also, it reminds me of my first IPPE rotation at MUSC 2 summers ago.
Slow paced, no pressure, and everyone working together…plus, there’s this incredible view from the pharmacy window:
In retrospect, my apprehension as we drove to the airport on
Tuesday morning, seems kind of ridiculous…even my anxiety over having a
roommate for the first time after living alone for 3 years was futile. The
apartment is more than I could have asked for (it’s quite wonderful, actually),
and it’s nice having a roommate to goof around with.
It’s been cold and rainy here all week…which is kind of
irritating because it takes away from the stunning view (okay, not really, but
it’s nice to see the snow capped peaks once the fog lifts)…but then I remember
that I am living in a rain forest, and I don’t mind it so much.
The weather is supposed to be really nice this weekend…looking forward
to a few sunny days in the mid-60s. Hope to get out and take some pictures…and
go hiking. I keep forgetting we will be here for 4 more weeks. I am not going
to want to leave.
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